I have been blessed to work with other ELA teachers and teammates who are equally (if not more so) passionate about their jobs. They really care about students. They go all out to keep school from feeling like a prison. They laugh and joke with kids. They look happy to be at school. They invest in their classroom libraries. They don't have an "us vs. them" mentality- I can send a student to anyone for help or a book and know they'll be taken care of.
That being said, we don't all always agree on everything. When you enter my classroom, the way I have it set up and the way I deliver instruction is VERY different from my colleagues. Sometimes I think their ideas are completely crazy and unrealistic and other times I just think they wouldn't work for me. Either way, I don't think any less of them. I respect them and value them and love working with them. There are other times where they have AMAZING ideas and I do exactly what they did because it is awesome and it works. I don't think any less of myself for not having that idea. I thank them for sharing (because they really didn't have to) and move on.
Comparisons are a way of life. It is intimidating to share things you are passionate about and then have your ideas rejected. It can feel like YOU are being rejected. Especially in a digitally connected world where you can see exactly what others are thinking, feeling, and doing (if they post it), it is easy to feel different and therefore, less than. "Oh no. They're doing/thinking something else. Maybe my way isn't good enough. Maybe I'm not good enough." It's a slippery slope and a terrible spiral.
In several weeks I will be moving on to a new stage in my life- mom. In an effort to feel prepared (I recognize that no matter what I really won't be) I have been doing research and reading and talking to other moms. Most of my colleagues (and close friends) are not yet parents. I know I'm going to do things differently (one thing in particular will be in another post) than other parents. I know that all of my decisions will be scrutinized (to some extent) by my own children, my family, other parents, and friends/acquaintances without children. I'm, so far, ok with that.
I hope that just like with teaching, there will be people in my life that respect and value what I do, this time, as a parent. Sometimes they will think my ideas are completely crazy and unrealistic or that they wouldn't work for them. Either way, I don't want them to think any less of me as a person.
I know that the "mommy wars" can be very real. There's plenty of judgmental junk and blog posts and comments on the internet about how to parent. There are already people in my own life who have given me advice I don't intend to take and even some who have passed judgement, but I'm ok with that. My hope is always to make the decision as a parent that is right for my family and my child(ren). It doesn't mean I think less of parents or people who make the opposite or a different decision. If my experience as a teacher has taught me anything its that there are lots of ways to "parent well" and there's certainly no "one size fits all" approach. I want to do the best job possible, even if it isn't always the most popular way. After all, I've had plenty of practice making student-centered-decisions. Now it will be time to make family/children-centered ones.
And I can't wait.
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